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 T-zero Xpandizine
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 Produced and published by the members of Writers' Village University since 1998    ISSN 1521-2639       
05 February 2012
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Beginner's Bulletin

Karen Miller

Tomorrow is Saint Valentine s day,
All in the morning bedtime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.

William Shakespeare (1564 1616)

Stuck for something to write about? I was when the call for February's copy came out. Last month I started with a hop, skip and a jump with Beginner's Bulletin. This month my attempt wouldn't get off the ground. Like old chewing gum my ideas stuck firmly to the floor and looked just as appealing. That bright, shining light bulb never flickered for one instant above my head. February, what is there to write about February?

Pick a subject and apply the six journalistic questions, said my friend.

What subject? I asked.

Any kind.

Well, urm, how about Saint Valentine's day? That falls within the month of February.

Okay, Saint Valentine. Now apply the six journalistic questions.

What are they?

Who, where, when, why, what and how.

Each year on the 14 February we all send cards in the name of Saint Valentine, but who was Saint Valentine? If you try researching this on the Internet yourself you'll probably come up with several different answers. Some believe that two legends arose from the same man while others suggest that there were three different men named Valentine. The most common account I could find was that Valentine was either a Roman Bishop or Priest who was executed in the year A.D. 270 for his Christian beliefs. These beliefs included the marriage ceremony, which the Roman Emperor Claudius II Gothicus was fiercely opposed to as he considered married soldiers to be inferior to single soldiers. Some say that while imprisoned Valentine sent many messages to his friends asking them all to Remember Valentine. Another romantic account claims that he fell in love with his jailer's daughter and signed his last letter to her yours Valentine. What is agreed is that the execution fell on the 14th February the day before, Lupercalia, the Roman feast of fertility. Over the years the two dates have entwined to become the Christian festival for love.

The practice of sending each other cards evolved much later when Esther A. Howland invented the Valentine card in the 1840s. And while we're discussing Valentine cards: why do we use an X to symbolize a kiss? Again there are many theories on the subject. One being that during Medieval times it was common practice for those who could not write their names to sign documents with an X in the presence of a witness. A kiss was then exchanged with the witness as a sign of sincerity. Over the years the X became the symbol of the kiss.

I'll let you be the judge of how extensively I did or didn't cover each question, but you have to agree I've made a start at putting those previously elusive words down on paper?

Thirty days hath September,
April, June, and November,
February has twenty-eight alone,
All the rest have thirty-one;
Excepting leap year, that 's the time
When February's days are twenty-nine.

The Return from Parnassus. (London, 1606.)


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Catherine's Kitchen The Writers' Ezine - T-Zero Xpandizine

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Catherine's Kitchen

Catherine Manning

ANOTHER TRADITIONAL DISH at Christmas is Pepperpot, adopted from the Guyanese. Never a year went by that my father didn't blow up the pressure cooker making it and what a mess that was, with liquid hitting the twelve-foot ceiling full force. Must admit I've done it on two occasions myself. He didn't have to clean up his mess, but I had to clean up mine, so I learned my lesson, though once it was a faulty valve. Pepperpot is not actually made in a pressure cooker, but it's easier to start it off by pressuring the things that take a long time to boil down, like the cow heels.

Some of the islands make a pepperpot soup, but in the southern Caribbean it's a meat dish and a preservative called casareep, which is made from the cassava plant is used, not only for flavour, but as a preservative.

The Amerindian tribes of the Guyanas were hunters and inhabited the river basins of South America. They would cook their game, whether meat or fowl, with the exception of mutton, in large clay cauldrons which were kept simmering over open fires and replenished by the hunters from time to time. Casareep was added and the pepperpot kept going for a long time; in fact if the hunters moved to another location, the pepperpot moved with them. The best casareep is made in Guyana though you have to be careful as some of the ones sold on the supermarket shelves are not authentic, so I get someone to bring mine straight from the Interior, the real McCoy.

Pepperpot is not the easiest thing to make and if I hadn't had a good teacher, I doubt I would be able to make a good one. Not that I really watched or helped when my father made it, but he would usually get me to taste it and we would decide if it needed more salt, casareep etc. Same thing when I first started to make it, I would call him down to taste and criticize. I make an enormous pepperpot, usually two massive saucepans, which take up the entire stove for a week; so I have two stoves, not only for that reason, but it's often necessary.

The ingredients are chicken, duck, pork, beef, cow heels and cow tail (which produce the glutinous texture needed to prevent it from being a stew), salt and hot peppers. Each person has their own way of making it. Some add garlic and herbs and sugar and leave the meat on the bones, but I don't add the herbs etc. and I remove the bones, as by the time I boil it for a week the meat is off them anyhow.

To get the size pepperpot that I make, I use 20 lbs. each of beef and pork about four chickens, six cow heels and two or three tails, depending on what I can get at the market. Duck is too expensive so I leave that out and generally I throw in about 25 hot peppers in each saucepan, depending on how hot they are and take them out when necessary, if they haven't already disintegrated.

A more simple recipe would be:

Pepperpot

  • 5 lb. stew beef cut into cubes
  • 5 lb. lean pork cut into cubes
  • 1 chicken cut up into parts, excluding the back as that has a lot of small bones.
  • 2 cow heels, cut up
  • 1 cow tail with the skin on, cut up.
  • Hot peppers to taste
  • Casareep, about 2-3 cups
  • Water

Pressure cooking the heels and tail in water to cover for about an hour speeds things up, if you have a pressure cooker. Add heels, tail and liquid to large saucepan, add rest of ingredients and about two cups of the casareep as it's better to add that gradually; too much will make it bitter. Barely cover with water, add salt to taste, bring to boil and simmer over low heat, stirring at regular intervals to prevent burning. Peppers may be added in a muslin bag and taken out when hot enough for your taste. I do this process over a period of 5 to 7 days, boiling up every day until the meat has separated from the bones and is very tender. By this time the casareep will have turned the meat dark brown, but too much casareep should not be added as to turn it black or it will be very bitter. If the pepperpot is boiled well every day, it may be left on the stove; otherwise it should be refrigerated or frozen. There are some pepperpots that have been kept going for 100 years by being replenished regularly.

Pepperpot is traditionally eaten with rice, bread or sweet potatoes.

Told you it was complicated! How about something simple like:

Coconuts.

Plentiful, cheap and versatile, coconuts can be found worldwide. In countries where they are not grown, they are sold either dessicated, grated and frozen or as a husked coconut, which can then be broken open and shelled. The meat is then peeled and grated for use or it can be eaten as is. Unlike a young coconut whose flesh is a jelly, as the coconut gets older the flesh gets hard and can be used in many ways.

Green coconuts yield coconut water high in potassium. Coconut milk, made from the juice of the grated hard coconut, is used in cooking. Coconut oil is made from coconut milk and is a base for cooking, and coconut cream is also made from coconut milk. Copra is a byproduct of coconut and is used to make soap. The dry coconut husk is an integral part of the potting soil used for plants. There are many other uses for the leaves and the shell of the dry coconut is used for fuel and also for craft objects.

Coconut Milk

  • 1 dry coconut
  • water, hot or cold

Extract water from coconut by punching a hole in one of the eyes. I usually use a hammer or solid object to hit the coconut all over which breaks the shell and loosens the flesh. After breaking the coconut into several pieces, use a sharp knife to gently lift the flesh from the shell, being careful not to cut yourself.

Grate flesh or cut up and blend in blender or food processor with water till pureed. Squeeze flesh through strainer to extract milk. The strength and flavour depends on the amount of water added to the coconut. Yields about 1/2 cup.

Coconut Cream

  • 1 pt. thick coconut milk
  • 1 tbs. unflavoured gelatin
  • 1 tin condensed milk
  • 1/4 tsp grated nutmeg
  • pinch of salt
  • 1 pt. water

Sprinkle gelatin in 1/2 cup of coconut milk. When soft, melt on a low flame and add to remaining milk. Sweeten with milk and add salt. Strain and put in dessert dishes. Sprinkle with nutmeg and chill. Decorate and serve.

Coconut Sugar Cakes

  • 1 coconut, grated
  • 4 oz. water
  • 3/4 lb. sugar
  • Colouring optional, one drop is enough, a pale pink is pretty.

Put sugar and water in saucepan, melt and add the coconut and let it boil slowly, stirring to avoid burning. Let it cook till it thickens and looks greasy. Moisten a plate with water, drop by the spoonful and leave to set. Be careful not to overcook or the mixture will dry out and break up.

Coconut Chips

  • 1 dry coconut
  • salt

Peel brown skin from coconut and cut white flesh into strips 1/4" thick. Wash and drain and bake in oven (350F) on a greased sheet till very lightly browned. Sprinkle with salt and serve as you would nuts.

There are many other ways of using coconut, but that's it for today.

Bon Appetit
Cath


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Fiction Corner

Alison Hawke

Pass That Encyclopedia

When I was a child, I used to read the junior encyclopedia on the shelves in the lounge, and the big book about ancient history next to it. One consequence of this childhood reading is that when I was watching the film "The Mummy" I knew how they did the mummification. Not much use as polite dinner conversation, but vital to the writers of the story.

I've been told that a writer should read omnivorously. Whatever you come across. Amass information, gather factoids and store them for later. I didn't realise quite how true this was until I finished reading Mirror Dance by Lois McMaster Bujold. To write this story, Bujold needed to know something about:

  • Cryogenics, the science of freezing things
  • Amnesia
  • Multiple personality disorder
  • Mercenary hostage rescue missions
  • Group behaviour of children
  • Politics and the nobility
  • Assassination techniques

Quite a list.

The back of a Michael Crichton novel will usually have a list of sources used in his research. The list can be several pages long and cover a lot of diverse subjects. The book Timeline includes in the bibliography a three and a half page list of historical references, everything from The Medieval Cookbook by Maggie Black, Violence and Miracle in the Fourteenth Century by Michael E. Goodrich, Gascony under English Rule by Eleanor C Lodge, Armies and Warfare in the Middle Ages by Michael Prestwich, to Traces of the Past: Unraveling the secrets of Archaeology through Chemistry by Joseph B. Lambert. The scientific references include Black Holes and Time Warps by Kip S. Thorne (a well known physics researcher), Hyperspace by Michio Kaku, The Feynman Processor by Gerard J. Milburn, and an article in Scientific American by David Deutsch and Michael Lockwood called "The Quantum Physics of Time Travel."

One reason I read New Scientist magazine is that it covers all sciences, plus a lot of related fields including programming, disease control, medical advances, current scientific and technological events, latest research in physics, chemistry and biology, weather and climate, and has a fun section at the back called Feedback that makes me laugh. A story I am working on contains a character with a neural/computer interface. New Scientist had, a while back, an article about a device connected to the optic nerve of a blind man, enabling him to see in a limited way. My fiction extended the fact.

There's a book on the coffee table right now called The World of Caffeine by Bennett A. Weinberg and Susan K. Bealer, that is on my "to read list" because it's got a lot about the history of a substance vital to people staying up late. I'm not that well read on history and my grasp of American geography is limited to knowing which states I've visited and which have released their quarter, I have a lot to learn.

Someday, some of this stuff I've read will come in handy for a writing project. Trouble is, I don't know which stuff I'll be needing, I have to read it all. A lot of my reading is scratching an itch, to find out how exactly did they solve Fermat's last theorem, what electroconvulsive therapy feels like, what really happens in a software development team, how you build a dam, how you make a better light bulb, what the most poisonous jellyfish in the world looks like, and how can I avoid it.

We need to have a child like curiosity about our world. Part of what makes our writing unique is that no-one else shares the exact same knowledge and experience we have. You know details about subjects I haven't even started on yet, you can use that. Amaze your readers.


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Nonfiction

Judy L. Forney

Learning to Cook

I suffer from a recurring dream about cooking for a crowd. Sausage burns, pancakes solidify, hash browns blacken, and eggs congeal. I have too many pots on the stove, and nothing is ready to eat at the right time. Breakfast is a disaster. Last night I dreamt again, with one important difference. My pots were full of story ideas. Just as one began to simmer along nicely, another would boil over. And the one I left warming in the oven? It dried to dust. How can I manage so many writing projects at once without scalding myself? By learning to cook.

My mother-in-law is a wonderful chef. She says the important thing in preparing a meal is to look at the process logically. Start with the right tools. Double-check your recipe and cooking times. Begin at the beginning, stir, season, and taste. Keep the side dishes simple. Know when you want to serve the feast, and present it with flair. Can the same logical approach whip up a week's worth of writing? Maybe it is easy as pie.

Start the mix Monday with the right tools. Got a writing buddy you can count on? Telephone her, or send out a quick Email. Let your friend in on the menu, and baste in her encouragement. Warm up your knowledge of the market listings. Stock the pantry with paper, printer ink, and SASE's. Check your recipe for a successful week and get cooking.

Begin Tuesday prepping your main course. Start that new story or article. Take the next chapter of your book from outline to written form. Stir, add seasoning, taste, cover and let simmer. Enjoy the creativity wafting through your life.

Does Wednesday bring the need to pay some bills, or chase some elusive 'clips'? Check your market research warming in the oven. Tackle that how-to article you've been meaning to write. Type up that anecdote, for a perfect filler piece. Compose a winning query. Keep your side dishes simple, but delicious and they'll add to the whole meal.

Turn the heat back up under your main course Thursday. Trust yourself as the work murmurs from a slow simmer to a rolling boil. Dip your spoon in for a taste. Does that small sample make you hungry for more? If not, don't despair. That's what cooking is all about. Add a pinch of humor, a teaspoon of excitement, and dash of drama. Ask another good cook to take a bite. Listen to her tips on seasoning, but remember, this is your recipe.

Set your best table Friday. Presentation is important. Iron out any wrinkles in your manuscript format. Shake out your best cover letter. Serve your story or article with style, and editors won't be able to resist the invitation to pull up a chair, sit down and enjoy the feast of words you've cooked up.

Judy L. Forney lives in eastern Washington State with her husband and three teenage sons. Judy is in the process of learning to take herself seriously as a writer. She is an associate member of the WA./ID. SCBWI, and is working on a YA novel.


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POETICS

Linda J. Austin

Flumes

Have you ever heard a Salutiferous Salometer Song? Are you familiar with the Radish Reindeer Revolution? Did you know that Narcissus nannies never nap when ordained osprey offer ostentatious pickled pancakes? Are you aware that Fury flings fierce frivolity?

Whether you want to sing your own songs, create your own revolutions, expound upon secrets you've uncovered or focus the serious - a Flume provides the mold. If you want to try writing for children and don't know where to begin, Flumes can create characters and situations for you. Free Form Flumes wander through the surreal creating vivid imagery. The more serious minded may find inspiration in a Focused Flume. This is the most challenging Flume because no connecting words are allowed. The poet must select the best four or five words allowed for each letter of the alphabet. Every word, as in imagist poetry, must do its job. This exacting form polishes the poet - helps to develop uncluttered writing.

Flumes are not relics of poetry past. You will not find Flumes in the dictionary or in a poetry text so read on to learn more about my Flume creation. Perhaps it's best to begin by reading a Flume. (You'll find two Focused Flumes in the Poetics Presents section: A Flume of Hostility and 9/11/2001.)

Did you notice the building momentum and intensity of the Focused Flume? The single stanza places the reader in the midst of the activity; batters the reader with crashing images that don't stop until the 26th line. While this is disconcerting and does not allow the reader time to pause (or take a breath) it evokes emotion. The reader is tossed into the mayhem to experience the avalanche that is hostility. Stanza breaks would allow the reader to look closely at what is happening, but then the reader becomes a bystander and does not feel the impact of hostility.

The Flume Pattern

Flumes generate their own alliteration and enjambment

Each letter of the alphabet is allotted 4 - 5 words (see exceptions for X,Y,Z). The optional 5th word allows the expansion of a thought or more clarity.

The first line will have five words and succeeding lines four words unless you opt for the optional fifth. Here's the first & second lines of Hostility:

Arrogant agitation airs. Anger blossoms
bury buffalo boneheads. Critical

Word pattern: a a a a b/b b b c/
Each line ends with one word introducing the next alphabet letter.

Punctuation determines meaning, but not always. Even with a period after airs, blossoms is still going to be read as a verb until the next line is read. Dual meanings are good. The poet has no say in enjambment other than through word choice.

Compound words are acceptable as long as they are hyphenated in the dictionary. The second part of the hyphenated word does not have to have the same letter that begins the compound. Here's an example from Hostility:

Wishy-washy whore-mongers, wither Xanadu.

X,Y,Z Exceptions: It is hard to stay focused with limited choices but do the best you can with these 3 letters. Here are the requirements:

X - 1 word
Y - 3 words
Z - 1 word

Getting started: List your topic. On the left side of the page write/type the alphabet (one letter per line) this is the starting point for each line.

You will need a good dictionary (I have a 1986 vintage Webster’s Collegiate) and a space for it to lie open as you work.

A Thesaurus may help get your brain warmed up. If you choose to write about an emotion (like anger) read what the thesaurus has to say, study the words. Think about what your topic means to you. Free associate. Make notes. Write down any words you want to include. (Otherwise once you start looking at other words, these thoughts may get pushed out of your brain.)

Making Sense: Gather all the words first, arrange them and use whatever punctuation necessary to form meaningful sentences. You may find yourself changing some of the words, or the order of words. Thoughts, images, action should naturally flow from one to the next. When complete you should have a 25-26 line stanza. (Remember we exempted some words for X, Y, Z).

Free Form Flumes

A free form flume is based on the same principles as a focused flume but allows the poet to add as many connecting words and verbs as necessary to complete the sentences. These additional words also keep the poem from being choppy. Connecting words may appear anywhere in the line except at the beginning of a line. Flumes have an abecedarian format that should be preserved.

Lascivious lanyard ladybugs use many
maple moose magistrates nation-wide to
nab naughty napkin nominees. Opportunistic

Flume Aberrations - begin the flume with a different alphabet letter. Start anywhere in the alphabet. Wherever you begin, you must still use all 26 letters of the alphabet. If you begin with the letter F, the last line of the flume would begin with letter E.

Break the flume into stanzas.

Make a list flume - 26 lines
1 letter per line, no carryovers to the next line
5-6 words per alphabet letter
does not have to be sentence structure
use connecting words if needed

My Wish List

fantabulous favonian faucet fantom
glabrescent gobbledygook graffiti gizmo

Readers may also wish to check the WVU calendar for the Poetry Trigger# P154: "Mastering Alliteration".


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Poetics Presents

Linda J Austin

Linda J Austin, retired from several occupations lives on a Norway (Maine) mountainside. She is a member of the Maine Writers and Publishers Alliance and the WVU Senior Poets Workshop. She has a few poems published and is studying creative art therapy.

Writers' Village members look forward to reading more of Linda’s work.

A Flume of Hostility

Arrogant agitation airs. Anger blossoms
bury buffalo boneheads. Critical
condescension climbs. Circumstantial degradation
denies delusion; derides emphatic
exaggerated explosions endowing frowns.
Fury flings fierce frivolity. Garbage
glares. Garishly garbed hallucinations
hurl humorless howling indignations
irritating inept infidels. Jealous
jilted jackasses join knuckle-head
knights kindling katharsis. Lousy,
liverish, lying lizards masquerade;
manipulate mangled mayhem. Night-crawler
nincompoops napalm nirvana. Outrage
ostracizes onerous oscillating patriots
paralyzing palaver. Panhandlers quick-step
queer querulous queries. Raucous
rabble-rousers retaliate - slaughter;
scream salutary soliloquies - taunt.
Theophanic tensions thunder unbridled.
Undulating uproars unleash virulent
volcanoes vomiting venom. Worms,
wishy-washy whore-mongers wither Xanadu.
Yowling, yelling young zebras
zorch.

Copyright © 2002 by Linda J Austin


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Poetics Presents

Korie Beth Brown

Korie Beth Brown is another Southern Californian and a lifelong writer. She is currently working on a chapbook and on a set of linked short stories. She also facilitates Poetry 115 - Introduction to Japanese Poetry Forms at WVU.

Writers' Village members look forward to reading more of Korie Beth’s work.

9/11/2001

Ambushed Americans! Antagonistic Al-Quaeda believes
Bin-Laden's bogus barriers between communities.
Cacophany - crumbling civility, common delusions
Digging deeper. Deadly disease escalates
Evil. Evolving enmities encourage fascism.
Fantastic firemen facilitate forensics. God!
Great Gotham grapples giant hole
Handmade horrendously: heinous hellbound insurgents!
In ire, insidious Islamics initiate jihad
Jalalabad juveniles join jeremiad. Kamikaze
Kinetics killed kindergartners! Lost
Lives largely lamented lovingly. Many
Muslims malfeasantly murdered. Maledictory newcasts,
Nefarious nations necessitate necrotic ordeal.
Orators opine opportunities, orchestrating patriotism.
Paranoid palatine palavers, parodying Qu'ran.
Quarrelsome quorum questions quandary. Rumsfeld
Rebukes recidivists, recommends reconnaissance. Stealthy
Soldiers spoil sheik's stronghold. Terrorist
Taliban topples twin towers. Unbowed
USA unified, unexpected upbeat vanguard
Valiantly vaulting variances. Vigilant Washington
Warily wages war, watching xenophobia.
Yankees yowling yonder! Zowie...

Copyright © 2002 by Korie Beth Brown


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Recognitions

N'omi Rose

Welcome to RECOGNITIONS! A monthly column to recognize those students of Writers' Village University who have won recognition of their writing achievements!

I am sad to say I have had a computer crash, thereby losing all of December and January's Achievers.

To those of you who are excitedly looking at this column, expecting to see YOUR writing achievements to be listed, I am grievously sorry. Please, will you forward our email conversations to me, so that I might list you in March's column? Please be assured that a new policy has been put into place to prevent this from occurring again.

Again, I offer my apologies to you all for this loss of December and January's column.

Our huge kudos to Sharon Bakar, whose short story, "Where Were You Last Night?," has been chosen as one of the 24 authors to be included in "Silverfish New Writing 1"!

"This is the first time I've had the confidence to submit anything for publication, and that confidence came in large part from sharing my writing in the classes and from the feedback and encouragement I got from online friends! "

SNW1 was inspired by the British Council's influential New Writing anthology series. The publication of this book has attracted a great deal of attention, because it is the first anthology of short fiction in English published in Malaysia for nearly 30 years! SNW1 is a collection of 24 short fiction works in English by both Malaysian and Singapore writers. The last anthology of Malaysian short stories was published in 1968 and edited by Malaysian writer Lloyd Fernando. Therefore, these are really a very big deal! The URL for Silverfish New Writing is
http://www.silverfishbooks.com
Silverfish does mail order, so can be purchased online.

Her story sprouted from one of the WVU Story Starters "Where Were You Last Night." So, as you can see, I've a lot to be grateful to WVU for," Sharon says. Sharon has been a member of Writer's Village for under a year. Congratulations to Sharon!

Sincerely,
N'omi Rose
Your RECOGNITIONS column custodian
Recognitions@wvu.org

"I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once."

Jennifer Unlimited


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Signs of Life

Nancy L. Horner

Visitors

There’s one really wonderful thing about having a relative or friend from far away drop by, but it’s probably something I shouldn’t admit. I have to clean my house. I won’t go into great detail, but I’m married to an absent-minded professor archetype and have two boys. In my eyes, that explains the post-tornado look we regularly maintain. Having said that, I sincerely hope there are other people in the world who find visitors are the only real incentive for serious housecleaning.

Because we live a solid 500 miles from relatives, those visits don’t come very often. My local friends are used to our chaos, but mothers are another story entirely. I always panic because my mother grew up with the words, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" pounded into her head. Naturally, that’s the first thing that comes to mind when I try to get the house ready for my mother's visits.

Essentially, preparing for a visit from my mother means stirring up and angering a lot of poisonous spiders who were being happily reclusive, then dumping all this crap in the middle of the floor, staring at it and saying, "Hmm, what should we do with THAT, ya think?"

The solution, when I’m in charge, is to buy a bunch of 13-gallon bins from Walmart, toss everything that isn’t nailed down or propped neatly on a shelf into those bins, and then tuck them into any available corner, closet, attic or garage space we can find. Regardless of how much I clean, the results will not be good enough for my mother. And, if anybody passes this column on to my mom, I want you to know your life is in serious danger.

My husband ended up in charge of the cleaning on one very memorable occasion. I had been taking a weekend paralegal course in which a full year’s coursework was crammed into six weekends. The final weekend was coming up when my mother-in-law called to tell us that she was exhausted from all the wedding planning she had been doing for my sister-in-law’s wedding and, "We’d like to get away for a couple days. Could we come down to your house?"

My initial reaction was to babble incoherently about the paralegal class, but I finished the conversation with, "You’re welcome to come any time." Because my in-laws visit so infrequently, I couldn’t fathom turning them down. However, I did tell them that I was finishing up my paralegal course and wouldn’t be able to spend much time, if any, with them because I had a case study to complete and the entire six weeks’ material to review.

When they decided they were definitely going to visit, I turned to my husband and said, essentially, "They’re all yours." I had absolutely zero time for cleaning and for five weeks I had barely even attempted to do even the most essential chores, instead foisting those they could handle on husband and teenager.

"I’ll need a list," said my husband. "I have to fix things like that hole in the wall. My parents can’t see that." A list, I knew, was unlikely to work on my chaotic, Type-Z personality husband. If he could manage to get himself going, he’d likely quit after the first item. The corner molding he told me he’d nail into the kitchen corners "tomorrow" was still in the garage, eight years after the fact. Ah well, I thought, and I wrote the list with my husband’s habits in mind:

David’s Do-List
1. The kids’ bathroom wall
sand
patch
paper
2. Kids’ bathroom door ­ repair the whatchamacallit. You know, the thingyjigger that lets you actually close the door so it latches shut.
3. Sweep and mop kitchen floor. I’d clean out the corners and such, too.
4. Overhaul front living room
Put away superfluous books and stuff
Put away shoes, toys, and other nonsense
Vacuum
5. Kitchen things:
Put in corner molding & paint it. Sheesh! That’s an 8-year job, if ever I’ve seen one.
Paint over the green mess.
Paint the ceiling.
Ah, just paint it all, babe.
6. ("Six? I mean, isn’t this getting a bit excessive?")
7. Clean den. That speaks for itself.
8. ("Please, I’m a man. That’s all I can handle.")
9. Clean that mess around the laundry room door. Gack, what a disaster.
10. If you get this far, you’re a better man than I’m willing to admit.
ANY COMPLAINTS OR GOOFING WILL RESULT A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF EMBARRASSMENT. THEY’RE YOUR PARENTS, AFTER ALL. DO NOT GOOF OFF.

To my utter amazement, not only did my husband patch the hole in the wall, he managed to tidy the house to about the same level I usually manage for my own mother. Yes, he filled up about a dozen empty bins. The corner molding is still in the garage, though. And, I should warn you that anyone who passes this on to my in-laws won’t be surprising them a bit.


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Writer’s Read

Wynelda Shelton

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy
By Sarah Ban Breathnach
ISBN 0-446-51913-8
Time Warner Books, Hardcover, $21.00

I have always identified myself as a writer. When people would ask me what I was going to be when I grew up, I would tell them I was a writer. Not would be, but already was. As a teen I had visions of moving out at eighteen, a multi-book contract under my belt.

Going through college, I learned that it might be a bit harder than that. Yet still I persevered. I didn't get a degree in English so that I could teach. I went to learn how to write better. I went to learn how the heck all those other people managed to actually finish a story.

Flash forward six years. The bottom has just dropped out from under me: like so many others in this economy, I have been laid off. The company I had worked for since graduating college was going under.

The shocking part is that without a job, I felt worthless. Things piled up around the house. I slept 12-13 hours. I stopped eating except at dinner time, because that was when my fiancee would be home.

The words that had flowed so freely once upon a time dried up.

In the midst all this, a re-connection with an old, dear friend of mine. One who loved what I would write as a teen (which looking back, says a lot about our friendship). She was going through much the same thing as I with the job market, and she recommended a book: "Simple Abundance" by Sarah Ban Breathnach.

"Simple Abundance" does not seem, on the surface, as a book for writers. Geared towards women, it strives to connect us to our true selves spiritually and emotionally. Then, once that has started, to help us live our lives creatively. It talks about rituals that make us feel good, and listening a bit more to our "authentic selves" instead of the critics that surround us.

As writers, we are familiar with critics. Often, there is none more detrimental to our work than our own internal critic. How much more would we as writers be able to accomplish if we were able, for even an hour a day, to turn off those critics and just write with our "authentic" voices? How much more fun would writing be?

Because up until now, I had forgotten why I love writing. The sheer joy of seeing words on paper, being able to follow a story. Admittedly, my progress is slow. A few letters, "gratitude journal" entries, this column. But it is a start.

"Simple Abundance" is a day book, with readings for every day. I am almost done with June (it's from the library). Although it is primarily for women, there is a version for men: A Man's Journey to Simple Abundance (ISBN 07-432-006-16, $22.00 US).

If, like me, you find yourself lost in the wilderness of self-doubt and feeling worthless, I can highly recommend this book. It has helped me see that no matter what else may or may not happen in my life, I am a writer. That being a writer is my most authentic self.

Being a writer is a wonderful thing.

Wynelda Shelton


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Writer to Writer

Rie Sheridan

How Far Do You Give? The Editing Process

One of the hardest things about being a writer is that moment when you hand your baby over to an editor and say "Here, Doc! What's wrong with it?"

I still get a wave of nervous tension whenever I get a chapter back from one of my editors. Questions zing through my brain: what do they want changed? Why doesn't it work the way it is? How far am I willing to go?

That last question can make or break a contract. There are things that I am willing to compromise over: changing a character's name for a better flow, expanding a scene to show actions instead of tell them, adding details to flesh things out.

But some things I will not easily give over on. In fact, when my publisher asked me if I was willing to change the title of "The Blood That Binds" because it was similar to another book in their upcoming list, I risked losing the contract to say no. Why? Because that title had been carefully chosen after decades of refinement. Because it had been attached to the book for the last ten years. Because it contains the essence of the theme and the central message of the book. This was a battle worth fighting. In my opinion, it would have compromised the book to give in on this point.

On the other hand, an editor suggested that I change the name of my raft captain because it was too close to the name of another character. There was no point in going to bat on this one, because he was a minor personage that only appeared in the beginning of the book. Besides, it gave me a chance to rename him after an old friend. An in-joke that may never mean anything to anybody else, but I know it is there.

The point I am trying to make here is that a writer must be flexible when it comes to editorial input. In my experience, the editors I have worked with have all added a world of polish to my work. I thank them all for the changes they have "forced" upon me. But on the other hand, when it comes to my work, I have to keep my eye on the overall vision. If the requested change is something that I feel would be detrimental to the piece at large, I will fight against it. Only the author can decide which battles fall into this category.


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Submissions Guidelines (Updated)

Until further notice, only plain text submissions in the body of the email will be considered.
NO ATTACHMENTS.

What We Pay For

Fiction: Stories should be of interest to writers in general, not just a narrow group.

Fiction should be submitted to fiction@thewritersezine.com. Payment starts at $15.00.

If considered for publication, you will be asked to return an email agreement including your name and address.

Craft Features: Queries about Craft features should be sent to nonfiction@thewritersezine.com.

Payment starts at $15.00, and, if considered, you will be sent an email agreement to fill out and return.

Poetry: Due to the large number of recent poetry submissions, a temporary hold on further poetry submissions is in place until early 2008.

Please do not email us to ask what we pay for in other categories. When we can add to our list, we will include it in these guidelines.

What We Publish

Original short fiction, poetry, and non-fiction, particularly non-fiction related to the craft of writing and interviews.

For fiction we prefer something with a plot and resolution. If we like the main character, we are more likely to accept the story. If the main character has a problem to resolve or has to make a choice, that's conflict, and we love conflict! Too many writers confuse conflict with fight scenes. Don't be one of them. Give us a protagonist who acts, makes choices no matter how hard they are to solve his or her dilemma, not a wimp who drifts along and has to be rescued.

Non-fiction should be related to the craft of writing or be good resource material for writers. Accuracy and originality are vital. No reprints. If it has already been published somewhere else, our readers will spot it and let us know.

What We Won't Publish

Anything that inspires "hate," is defamatory or is pornographic.

Simultaneous submissions.

Material that has appeared elsewhere (reprints).

Seasonal material submitted during the same month (i.e., a Christmas story in December). Our lead time is short compared to print publications, but we do need time to edit, html and proof submission. A good guideline is to submit the manuscript by the first of the preceding month (i.e., submit a Christmas story before November 1st).

Length Recommendations

  • For Fiction, under 1500 words is preferred. We will consider excerpts from longer works.

  • Poetry should fit on one printed page if possible. A maximum of five poems may be submitted at one time (when the hold is lifted).

  • Non-fiction or Craft features have the most leeway in word count. In general these manuscripts should be 750 to 2,000 words. We like to take advantage of the hypertext capabilities we have available and link to charts, graphs, lists and so forth. Thumbnail versions may be included in the body of the article.

Rights

All rights other than first electronic, non-exclusive 'anthology' (for collections of T-Zero: The Writer's Ezine works only), and non-exclusive archival rights (we keep back issues online) are and remain the sole and exclusive property of the author.

Formats We Will Accept

Plain text in the body of an email.

T-Zero: The Writer's Ezine is an HTML publication. This gives us access to a variety of options but it is also a limiting factor.

  • Underlining is used exclusively for links in HTML. Please do not underline in your manuscript. It you are including a link to a webpage for reference, please mark the link the following way: (WEB LINK) http://thewritersezine.com (END WEB LINK).
  • The less than (<) and greater than (>) signs are used to enclose HTML encoding. If you need to use brackets, please use the square [ ] ones instead.
  • Paragraph indentation requires time consuming insertion of multiple HTML symbols. Please separate paragraphs by inserting a hard, blank line between them.
  • Fonts need to be simple. No multiple fonts. We prefer standard fonts such as Times New Roman, Courier or Arial set at 12 point. If your subject matter requires something else, ask us first.
  • The curly (smart) quotes, apostrophes, the em dash (two hyphens together) and ellipsis … (three periods) become strange and exotic characters when copied from your word processor into email. Check your preferences or options to see if you can use straight quotes. 
  • Text formatting such as bold, italic, centering, bullet list, etc., should be noted in the text by using all caps in parentheses. For example, if you wanted to italicize the word submission, you would type: (ITALICS) submission (END ITALICS).

Editing

We expect you to run spell-check and to check your grammar and punctuation before submitting. We will not reject a submission for a few typos or errors, but will if there are an excessive number of errors.

Note: Since our reading audience is international, we do not require a specific version of English. Use the spelling appropriate to your region.

We will automatically correct obvious typos such as “ton” for “not” and may correct simple agreement problems. For anything beyond that, time permitting, we will return the submission to you with a request for corrections.

Getting to Know You

Fiction and Craft features published in T-Zero: The Writer's Ezine include brief third person biographical notes on the writers. For all submissions, please compose your own bio and include it to save our editors and yourself time later if/when your piece is accepted for publication. We suggest sharing a little about your background, occupation, geographical location and what inspired your story.

How and Where to Submit

We do not accept submissions via US mail. Email submissions only, to the appropriate department, in the body of the email. No attachments accepted.

Fiction should be sent to fiction@thewritersezine.com.

Craft Non-fiction should be queried first. Send query to nonfiction@thewritersezine.com.

Poetry: Due to the large number of recent poetry submissions, a temporary hold on further poetry submissions is in place until early 2008.

Include the type of submission (fiction, non-fiction) in the subject line.

Be sure to include your name and email address in the body of the email.

If you do not receive an acknowledgement that your submission or query was received within a week, please send a follow-up query with “Did you Receive?” in the subject line. In the body of the email, please include your name and email address, the title of the work submitted, and if different, the email address sent from. Do not resend the submission unless we request it.

Good luck!


T-Zero: The Writer's Ezine
http://TheWritersEzine.com
Copyright 1998 - 2007, Writopia Inc. All Rights Reserved

 

© Copyright 1998 - 2007, Writopia Inc. All rights reserved